Satoshi Nakamoto Institute distances itself from Satoshi Nakamoto

Founding member of the Satoshi Nakamoto Institute Pierre Rochard says despite the name of the foundation he helped establish, he felt Satoshi was probably someone he would block on Twitter today. 

“Look, big blockers are all idiots. But I was reading some stuff on the Institute’s website the other day and I realised that Satoshi was actually a big blocker. I have to be honest, that’s really dumb. I studied accounting and Austrian economics and let me assure you, economies do really well when fewer people can transact with each other. It seems to me I probably understand Bitcoin better than Satoshi himself.”

CBD: Why did you and your friends establish the Satoshi Nakamoto Institute?

“Basically we wanted to preserve the message of Satoshi and the clear Austrian economic thinking Bitcoin was founded on.”

CBD: But you disagree with him now?

“Yeah now I prefer to follow the writings of Luke Junior.”

CBD: And who’s he?

“He’s a BTC Core Developer, a Bible literalist and a devout catholic who believes that anyone who isn’t pure roman catholic will be tortured for all eternity in a lake of fire. Real smart guy and the founder of the small blocker movement. Luke now wants to shrink the BTC block size to 300kb. I’m thinking of suggesting 200kb to sound even more righteous. I mean, if 300 kb is good, 200kb has to be even better right? Hopefully we can push transaction fees right up again.” 

CBD: So you say you understand Bitcoin better than the inventor of Bitcoin?

“When you put it that way I guess it sounds like I don’t really know what I’m talking about and I’ve just been hoodwinked by a bunch of NPC sock puppet accounts on Twitter who are run by the dragon’s den and blockstream and others who want to make bank from routing fees on Lightning, and I’ve been sucked in by the attention and praise they pour on me. Ha ha.. heh hmmmmm… that could never… wait what were we talking about? Oh yeah. So, I’ve spoken with heaps of really smart developers. Have they ever run a profitable business? No, I guess not. Do they understand economics? No not really actually, I have to keep correcting them to be honest. Have they demonstrated success in other areas of their lives? errr…. I wouldn’t say so. But look, they know about coding and cryptography if you know about coding or cryptography you should basically get to decide the fate of how global currency works. The last thing we want is investors or miners with so called “skin in the game” having a say in how things work. It should be poor, young, inexperienced, and unemployed developers who all work for free to support the central vision and not people chasing their own well-being. Economies can’t function like that. I think that all makes … god damn it!!!”

We were unable to continue the interview as Pierre had just realised his Lightning node had crashed again and he needed to attend to it.


CoinBlockDesk caught up with Michael Goldstein (who likes to be called Bitstein) about the move by the Institute to distance itself from its namesake. 

“Look, I’m not saying I’m smarter than Satoshi. But it’s just that I don’t really want to disagree with Pierre. I saw how he turned on Daniel (Krawisz) when Daniel started pointing out that Satoshi wanted to scale Bitcoin on-chain and honestly I don’t really have the energy left to argue with Pierre. He scares me. I haven’t eaten a carb in 4 years and I’m too busy trying to lead the don’t-eat-junk-food cult that I have had to leave decisions for the Bitcoin Core cult to Pierre. Don’t tell Pierre, but I haven’t sold my forks anyway just in case Daniel is right. Hey do you know how to set up a lightning node? Pierre is coming over next month and I still haven’t figured out how to do it. God it’s complicated. Pierre will go ape-shit if he finds out.”


Fellow Nakamoto Institute founder Daniel Krawisz, was also kind enough to speak with CBD about his thoughts on the bizarre position the Institute has taken. 

“Yeah it’s confused me completely. It’s literally called the Nakamoto Institute and yet Pierre and Michael spend all their waking moments playing mental gymnastics trying to explain why Satoshi was wrong and why proof of work isn’t important. Instead they preach some kind of “community consensus” nonsense, which basically amounts to proof of social media as being how decisions get made in Bitcoin. It’s utterly moronic. Why do people think something with the word “Institute” in it is important anyway? Do people think we had offices where we employed people to do research or something? It’s just a freaking website with some stuff we copied and pasted from bitcointalk and a few rambling blog posts that accidentally started a moronic cult. We were basically young 20 somethings when we founded that thing. God, people in Bitcoin are so dumb. And how on earth does anyone think you can grow a global economy without the ability to actually make a profit or transact with each other! I feel like I’ve been taking crazy pills for the last 2 years. It’s so obvious Bitcoin needed big blocks. I can’t believe it was even a conversation!”

Daniel then referred us to his latest video which he said explained what Bitcoin was very accurately. Everyone in the CoinBlockDesk office blacked out after the bit about string theory and woke up 3 hours later with a stag effigy built from old GPU mining rigs in the middle of the main office and a Rick and Morty episode playing. 


Would you like to see more of CoinBlockDesk’s unique brand of crypto satire?

Support the work with Bitcoin SV via Handcash ($CoinBlockDesk), Money button , or you can send BSV directly to: 1NGE729aecj2R73egadnCjVyZEv6RxQC6Y


Handcash: $CoinBlockDesk