The annual BLOCKstream Propaganda Awards, BTC’s most anticipated evening of the year, was held recently in San Fransisco, California, where Core stars and aspiring hangers-on gathered a-plenty to eat dead animal flesh and gloat over their self importance with respect to all things cryptocurrency.
After plenty of “shitcoin” lines from MC for the evening, Saifedean Ammous, a surprise appearance from Nick Szabo was met with chants of SA-TOE-SHEE from the slightly inebriated mob.
Eventually the main event for the evening arrived, the announcement of the winner of the highly prized “Most Petty Blocks on Twitter” (MPB) Award.
Nominees this year included:
Samson Mow, for blocking everyone who shared any statistics on the failing “Liquid” network.
Mr Hodl, for blocking a young girl scout who dared ask him if he could pay for his cookies with “crypto”.
Saifedean Ammous, for blocking anyone who didn’t think he was as smart as his idol Nassim Taleb.
Francis Pouliot, for blocking about 3500 different people who claimed that he is an arrogant, condescending twerp.
Giacomo Zucco, for blocking anyone in the BTC camp who acknowledged the existence of Bitcoin SV or Bitcoin Cash.
Max Keiser, for blocking an orphanage on Twitter that accepted donations in Bitcoin SV.
Betting on the event was very tight, with the slight majority of pundits predicting BLOCKstream’s Samson Mow to take away the victory, simply by way of insider vote manipulation, as the event is sponsored by BLOCKstream and it was presumed they would tamper with the vote.
However, to everyone’s surprise and delight, the winner announced was Giacomo Zucco.
In receiving the award, Mr Zucco was at pains to point out that all he was doing was his moral duty. Balanced on a milk crate to reach the microphone, Mr Zucco said, “Fuck that fucking Peter McCormack. He pretends to be a bitcoiner but no-one can be so stupid to still be asking basic fucking questions every episode. He’s a snake, and he’s a fraud, and everyone should block him right now! Last week on Twitter I saw him say people might get confused between Bitcoin and Bitcoin Cash. Well, I didn’t bother to look at the context he was saying that in, but just the fact that he mentioned BeeCash was enough for me to lay down the hammer!”
Cheers erupted from the audience, as Giacomo concluded. “Next year I hope to improve my block game by being sure to block anyone who doesn’t swear fealty to the Core team and Small Blocks, and if I find that they don’t actually run their own Core node AND lightning node, I will probably DDOS them.”
Mr McCormack, who was called out by Mr Zucco in the acceptance speech, was in attendance at the event, and spoke with CoinBlockDesk about the block which won Giacomo his first MPB award. “Jesus Christ. I don’t know what I have to do to get accepted by these lunatics. I mean, I baited Craig Wright by calling him a fraud until he finally sued me, I mock Bitcoin SV every day on Twitter, even though I have literally zero idea if there’s actually anything wrong with it technically, and I sold ALL my alt-coins and now only own BTC. I honestly just wanted to make friends and be accepted into their group, because I haven’t really got anything else going on in my life. But these morons don’t actually allow thinking. I was supposed to just memorise the doctrines without questioning them. When I said “I can understand the big blocker perspective” I think that really upset them. Now I don’t know what to do. I either have to repent for my sins and try and win their acceptance again, or they’ll basically keep calling me a fraud. God, I would never call someone a fraud publicly without evidence. I can’t believe they’re doing this to me.”