Confused exchange CEO threatens people who use legal system

Earlier today the CEO of well known cryptocurrency exchange Binance, made famous for its handy ability for crypto users to be able to swap their coins without having to provide any identification, thus avoid being tracked, expressed anger that someone in the bitcoin community dared to use the legal system to settle a complaint.

We spoke to some of the BTC community about CZ (known by this moniker to save english speaking people the embarrassment of trying to pronounce syllables that don’t appear on a McDonald’s menu) and the problem he had with Craig Wright using the legal system to establish that he wasn’t a fraud.

“Look, CZ may not be the most technically proficient person in this space,” said self proclaimed Bitcoin expert @justHODLuntilyoudie69. “And I really don’t think he should bother to speak with those in cryptography who testify to Craig actually being the inventor of Bitcoin because they must be lying too. But it’s well known that CZ really struggled to attract BTC maximalists to his business as Binance basically runs a shitcoin casino and work hard at evading certain laws.”

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“So my guess is he saw this opportunity to be one of the cool kids and we’re just letting him think it’s working. He’ll never actually be accepted as one of us though. He’s so dodgy. I think he’s a bigger scammer than Craig Wright even. I mean, when you think about it, Craig’s never even actually done an ICO, and he’s essentially just working on a version of Bitcoin that is trying to be like the whitepaper. I don’t agree with him, but as a BTC holder I ended up owning a heap of BCH and BSV too, so he hasn’t actually diluted my wealth at all. But I’m pretty sure that dodgy CZ just invented his own money for his exchange, plus he charges shitcoin devs to list, not to mention he basically wants a world with a million coins so he can keep making money. I really want a world with just one coin, as does Craig Wright I suppose, but we just disagree on the best way to achieve that.”

At this point in the interview @justHODLuntilyoudie69 started to stare off into the distance in what appeared to be deep self reflection, and we were unable to continue the interview.

Following CZ’s outrage at a business person using the courts to protect their reputation, many in the BTC camp attempted to spread a meme of “delist BSV” in an effort to have Bitcoin SV devalued and get exchanges to join in the virtue signalling. The attempt appears to have backfired though, as everyone in BSV agreed that they too would like BSV to be delisted from shitcoin casinos, as they wanted no part in the scam that was the crypto industry.

One BTC maximalist who spoke to us on condition of anonymity, because he didn’t want to be blocked by Giacomo Zucco and the other “influencers”, echoed the sentiments. “At first I was like yeah hashtag #delistBSV but then I remembered I hate Binance with all my heart and I would also like BTC to not be listed on that scammy casino. Heck I don’t even want BTC on Coinbase! I wish we had thought this through properly. Please don’t tell anyone I said this, it’s taken me ages to get up to 1300 followers and I don’t want to be blocked by my heroes and have to start a new twitter account. A year ago I got blocked by them all and kicked off r/bitcoin on reddit just for saying I didn’t like paying $50 fees and they called me a loser for actually using bitcoin and a fraud and a sockpuppet, so I’m a bit nervous to say what I really think now.”

Crypto wannabe influencer and vapid slogan poster Tony Pompolonomponloiono also chimed in on the matter. “Frankly, it’s appalling that anyone should take someone to court. I mean, just because that Hodlonaut account launched a week long campaign specifically designed to defame and denigrate Craig Wright labelling him a fraud and calling for everyone else in BTC to join in, doesn’t mean Hodlonaut should have to actually prove that the allegation of fraud has merit. We have free speech in America. That means there’s never any consequences for anything you say, everyone knows that! I mean, if we didn’t have free speech we wouldn’t be able to constantly promise noobs that Lighting will work soon even though we have no idea how to make that happen.”

We pointed out that neither Craig Wright nor Hodlonaut were in the USA. “I thought the whole world just copied our laws. Isn’t that how it works? Anyway, exchanges should all delist BSV and also I really hope more people follow me on Twitter. I’ve built this really useful bot that auto follows people then unfollows them. I’ve been called a scammer heaps because of that, so I’m really hoping my virtue signalling on this matter redeems me in the eyes of BTC maximalists.”

A spokesperson from Binance said they were great fans of the legal system as long as it didn’t involve courts, the judiciary, voting, politicians, laws, civil proceedings, criminal proceedings, borders, accountability, responsibility, patents, copyrights, or consequences of any kind. They also said Suits really went downhill after season 4.